The Master Plan

October 7, 2008

I’m itching to get going on the laptop and scratching because I ate a Wispa yesterday (and some toffees) causing reactions. We’ll forget that I’m weak and a dumbfuck and move on to the part where I get to talk about cool things.

I will be fully laptopped within a day or so at which point the Master Plan(TM) will kick in. The Master Plan involves me writing 10 erotic short stories meeting the open submission criteria of Scarlet magazine, then picking the best one and flogging it to them. I must do this all before the end of the month because I have signed up to for November, part 2 of the Master Plan. Last year I failed to launch when I caught a bad cold and missed the first week. This year I’m going to nail it. I have an idea in processing that should be ripe by then.

Goddamn I hope I don’t flake out like I usually do.

Do I sound American to you? I’ve totally been reading too many American blogs. At the end of the gig on Friday I had a definite US twang but I think that was more nerves at being in the presence of greatness.


Housing crisis update

July 24, 2008

I’ll admit, it was starting to get sticky. We were all supposed to be leaving at the end of August, and with my partner not yet in work and only six weeks to organise the whole thing we were starting to get concerned. Luckily the shit of our economy has hit the fan of recession and our landlord is now unable to sell the house out from under us. I’m sure he’s pleased because he loves us really. This means we can stay put for a while longer and gradually amass the wealth we need and the time we would prefer to look for our next home. We have also been given full licence to decorate the house (with offers of paint vouchers) and as there will be fewer of us turn one of the downstairs rooms into a dining area. This pleases me as I have not eaten at a table for years, and it will make our house less student-like. It also provides a second room to hang out in, so we will have more living space. I intend to buy a bookcase. Or three. I will need them for all the cast-offs I pinched from (soon to be former) Housefolk Femme.

Yesterday I learned how to perform a poisoned kiss. The trick is to snarf a big, juicy pear then kiss someone allergic to raw food. Let the itchiness ensue.