Housing crisis update

I’ll admit, it was starting to get sticky. We were all supposed to be leaving at the end of August, and with my partner not yet in work and only six weeks to organise the whole thing we were starting to get concerned. Luckily the shit of our economy has hit the fan of recession and our landlord is now unable to sell the house out from under us. I’m sure he’s pleased because he loves us really. This means we can stay put for a while longer and gradually amass the wealth we need and the time we would prefer to look for our next home. We have also been given full licence to decorate the house (with offers of paint vouchers) and as there will be fewer of us turn one of the downstairs rooms into a dining area. This pleases me as I have not eaten at a table for years, and it will make our house less student-like. It also provides a second room to hang out in, so we will have more living space. I intend to buy a bookcase. Or three. I will need them for all the cast-offs I pinched from (soon to be former) Housefolk Femme.

Yesterday I learned how to perform a poisoned kiss. The trick is to snarf a big, juicy pear then kiss someone allergic to raw food. Let the itchiness ensue.

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