The power hasn’t gone to my head; it only exists in my head. So far I have abused my power to:
– procrastinate wildly despite having deadlines
– abuse the internet at work
– give up adding any tags to my posts. Who would use them?
I will also have power over certain guests who are coming to stay with me this weekend. As the old cliche goes: with great power comes great responsibility, and it’s up to me to make sure everything goes smoothly and no punches are thrown.
Under the list of things I thought I had power over but really don’t is my body. I had been proudly sprouting body hair all over the shop – legs, groin, abdomen and breasts and thinking myself ever so clever for not being arsed to conform to ideals that involve sharp blades near my fragile skin. But. Then came warm weather. With hipster trews and t-shirts that aren’t quite long enough. And I was embaressed that not only could people see my protruding belly but that it carried the extra offence of a large patch of inch long dark brown hairs.
I caved, I shaved the part that was visible and understood that I was weak and that half the things I thought I was doing to be clever I was just taking credit for because they were safe. Once again I am shown how little I understand myself and that I give myself too much credit. Fortunately the people I care about, apart from occasionally elbowing me in the eye, accept me the way I am. Eventually I will discover what way I am. There may be some kind of epiphany invovled, but I doubt it – I’m not in to that Hollywood crap.